Her and Him
by Yuwang
Summary: I'll never have her. Yet I still hope. HitsuRuki One-sided IchiRuki and HitsuHina
1. Her, Him and My Jealousy

…

It wasn't what everyone had expected.

No one saw this coming; even _he _was surprised when _she _asked him.

_They_ walked hand in hand, though _his_ face was a mixture of embarrassment and another emotion, s_he _in the meanwhile was grinning like an idiot.

It wasn't what everyone had expected.

They all thought I would end up with _her._

I mean, opposites attract, right?

Apparently not.

When _she _told me, I think I smiled, I'm not sure.

_She _just babbled on about _their_ first date in our world.

Why didn't _she_ notice?

I was always right next to _her_.

Always dissing _her _drawings and arguing with _her._

But _she _chose _him._

Didn't _he _already have that other girl?

The one with the bun?

…

I was happy on Saturday.

_She _came to me that day.

_They _had a fight.

I didn't take it seriously.

_They'd _make up soon anyway.

When _she_ told me what it was about though, I was surprised.

_He_ told _her_ that _she_ spent too much time with me.

I scoffed and ruffled her black hair calling _her_ a midget, inwardly though, I was glad.

That should teach _him _not to mess with my property.

…

I saw _them_ at the mall.

_She_ asked _him_ to come away with _her_.

Obviously, I followed _them_.

I could see_ her_ tiny body shaking, fighting the urge to run and comfort _her_, I stood still and watched.

Maybe _he_ was letting _her_ down.

Then _she_ lunged forward and hugged _him_.

I think _he_ spotted me.

Because _he_ shot me a smirk and clutched _her _tighter.

…

I stood at the airport.

That busty brunette is back.

She hugged us all, giving me the biggest, I patted her back awkwardly while trying to unsuccessfully edge away.

I turned my head to the side to see if _she _noticed.

_She _didn't.

…

I'm failing.

My grades are dropping.

While my father is over the moon, my friends are disappointed.

I don't care.

_She _barely ever comes anymore.

_She's _always spending _her_ time with_ him _in _their _world.

I ask if _she_ could visit more.

_She_ laughs and pats me on the back.

…

I went to the park today.

_He _was walking with the girl with the bun.

I brought my camera with me.

_He _isn't good for _her._

To my disappointment, the bun haired girl is still pining over her former captain.

…

I was packing my bag for a meaningless sleepover with the muscular one and the smart guy.

My sister asked me if I was alright.

I grinned and made a joke.

My sister didn't laugh.

She gave me a look and walked away.

…

It's my birthday today.

_She _finally came.

I wanted to give _her _a hug.

When was the last time I saw _her?_

Days, weeks, months, years?

But I didn't.

I just smiled at _her._

I thought _she_ looked disappointed.

…

I moved out.

An empty apartment in the city.

My father hugged me and told me to find a girl.

I didn't tell him I already had.

_She _was there again.

But all _she _did was laugh and pat me on the back.

The same thing _she _did when I asked _her_ if _she_ could visit more.

…

I saw a girl walking down the street.

She had purple hair and a red ribbon.

That girl looked vaguely familiar.

_She _still hasn't visited.

…

I was having a drink with the busty brunette.

She was far too drunk and getting tipsy.

I hadn't even finished my first glass.

She said that _she _and _him _were engaged.

I clenched my fists.

…

I met _him_ today.

We were at _her _brother's mansion.

I said some harsh things.

And _she _heard me.

I ran as fast as I could out of there.

But I still saw _her _tears.

…

I applied for college.

My sister told me to get a better education.

She said it was what mom would've wanted.

That hurt.

Am I failing that badly?

All I know is that…

_She _no longer cares about anyone in this world.

…

I was visiting my hometown.

_She _finally came.

_She_ asked me why I hated _him _so much.

Because _he _took _you _away from me!

Because I would have _you _if _he_ hadn't interfered!

But I didn't say that.

I told _her _I didn't hate _him_.

_She _let out a relieved smile and punched me playfully.

And then _she_ gave me a wave and walked into the gate.

…

I had a dream.

_She _had a collar on and was standing obediently beside a man.

Was it _him?_

_He _had control of _her _even in my dreams?

The man then turned around.

It wasn't _him._

It was me.

…

I woke up in cold sweat.

Was that my desire?

To be with _her?_

To make _her_ fall in love with me?

…

I got a letter.

It was from _her _and _him._

It was a wedding invitation.

I felt everything slip away from me.

…

I was sitting on a chair.

_She _was dressed in white.

I could see my friends crying, well the busty brunette anyway.

_He _was dressed in black that contrasted with _his_ white hair.

_He _was smiling and holding _his _hand out.

_Her _brother pulled _her_ hand from his and placed it on _his._

No words were exchanged.

A single tear slid down my face as _they_ locked lips passionately.

The crowd cheered.

…

I hadn't seen my family for a year.

My sisters gave me hugs while my father kicked me.

I didn't block it.

I wanted to feel pain.

They all watched in shock as I fell backwards.

Into the buffet table.

_She _gave me a worried look.

Why did _she _care?

…

I was on the phone with _her_.

_She_ was talking about a job_ he _got in our world and how _they_ would be moving here.

So _she_ could see me more.

I felt as if _she_ was avoiding something.

I told _her_ to spit it out.

_She_ told me _she _was pregnant.

The phone dropped to the ground.

…

It's been years.

_Her_ kids have grown.

I never married.

We never talk anymore.

I'm sure _she_ forgot about everything we've gone through.

_They_ walked hand in hand.

_Both_ with a wide grin on _their_ faces.

…


	2. Him, I and My Love

…

It wasn't what everyone expected.

Hell, even _I_ didn't see it coming.

It started when _my_ captain sent _me_ to help _him _with _his_ workload.

_I _accepted, of course but only because of the loyalty_ I_ felt for my captain.

It started off awkward, working late at night on the stacks of various papers.

But_ I_ grew to love _his _company.

_I _grew to love _him._

Those moments when _he_ would ask _me_ something, genuinely concerned.

Those moments when he would accidently brush against _my_ arm.

_I _loved them.

When _he _started to hang around the bun headed girl _I_ knew that _I_ had to make a move.

So_ I_ asked _him_ out.

A date in the living world.

_I _made a fool of myself, stuttering like a teenage girl, something a noble would never do.

_He _was so surprised.

Everyone around _us_ was surprised.

But _I_ didn't notice them.

_I_ only concentrated on _him_.

_I love you._

…

_I _was sad on Saturday.

_I_ went to _my_ nakama.

_He_ and _I_ had a fight.

_He_ was always so possessive.

_I_ told _my_ nakama that _he_ didn't like _me_ seeing him.

He looked shocked.

Then, he ruffled _my_ hair and called _me _a midget.

A gesture that happened only between us.

My nakama was someone very close to _me_.

But he doesn't occupy_ my_ heart.

_I love you._

…

_He_ asked _me_ to meet_ him_ at the mall.

_I_ spotted _his_ spiky white hair a mile away.

The white hair _I_ always loved.

The white hair_ I_ still loved.

No matter what _he_ did.

_I_ was in _his_ arms as soon as _he_ said the three words _I _always wanted to hear.

_I love you._

_He_ smiled into _my _hair and clutched _me_ tighter.

…

_I_ went to the airport with _my_ human friends.

_Our _old friend is coming back.

She embraced us all, hugging the orange headed boy the tightest.

The girl that was always so different from _me_.

Kind. Beautiful. Friendly.

Unlike _me_.

_I _told _him_, who was standing next to _me_.

But _he_ just blushed and told _me_ _I _was perfect just the way _I_ was before looking away hurriedly.

_I_ smiled.

_I love you._

…

_I _moved in with _him_.

_My_ brother was angry, though he didn't show it.

Is he afraid of losing _me_?

_I_ told him _I_ would always visit out manor.

_I_ thought I saw a little ghost of a smile grace his face.

_I _haven't had the chance to visit the living world.

_My_ nakama asked _me_ if_ I_ could visit more.

It hurt.

Am _I _abandoning him?

_I_ simply laughed and patted him on the back.

_I…love you?_

...

_I_ stood in our home.

Neat as always.

Thanks to _him_.

_He_ told _me_ _he_ had a mission in the living world.

Like _I_ believed _him_.

Am _I_ not a good lover?

Am _I_ not a good person?

_I _didn't like to cry.

If you cried, you showed weakness.

_I_ needed to show weakness.

_I _needed to be held.

_I_ needed him.

_I love you!_

…

_I _stood in front of an old grave.

Clutching a single cherryblossom.

It was the day of _my_ sister's death.

_I_ heard faint footsteps behind _me_.

He came up and stood beside _me_, resting his own cherryblossom on the grave.

_I_ clutched my brother's hand tightly.

It wasn't as warm as _his_.

_I...love you._

…

_I_ stood at the door.

_My _shaking hand rang the doorbell.

It has been months since_ I_ visited.

He looked happy.

_I _thought he was going to embrace _me_.

_I_ haven't been held in a while.

But all he did was smile.

_My _face fell.

_I LOVE YOU_

_I LOVE YOU_

_I love you…_

…

_I_ saw him off.

He was moving into an apartment in the city.

His dad hugged him and whispered something in his ear.

_I _hoped he would be happy.

_I_ no longer love him.

_I_ love the one that still occupies _my_ heart all this time.

_I _love the one who makes _me_ shiver with excitement.

_I_ love the one who cares for _me_ more than anything in the world.

With a final laugh, _I_ pat him on the back.

_I love you._

…

_I_ was so excited.

_He_ finally proposed to _me_.

_He_ hid it in the stacks of paper _we _were working on.

Something only _we_ did together.

_I_ said yes, as soon as _I_ saw the glint of gold.

Smiling, _he_ reached for _me_.

_I love you._

…

_I_ sent out invitations to everyone.

The brunette, the strong man, the smart guy.

When it came to _my_ nakama,_ I_ paused.

But sent it anyway.

_I love you._

…

_I _was at the manor.

Preparing for the wedding.

_My_ nakama came.

He accused _him_ of things.

He loves _me_.

Tears flowed out of _my _eyes.

He saw _me_ and ran.

But he still saw _my_ face.

_My_ face.

_My_ ugly face that ruined lives.

_My _mentor.

_My_ sister.

_I_ ruined everything.

_I_ didn't deserve _him_.

_I _didn't deserve to be happy.

_His _arms went around_ me_.

Not a word was said.

_He_ knew _I _needed comfort.

_I love you._

…

_I_ worked harder.

_My_ effort was awarded with a promotion.

_I_ thanked my captain and bowed, flustered.

He smiled at _me_ and said _I_ was a lovely girl.

It was all thanks to _his_ help.

_He_ trained _me_.

So that _I_ could protect.

_I love you._

…

_I _finally visited the living world.

_He_ was visiting as well.

_I _asked him why he hated _him_ so much.

_I_ just wanted them to get along.

_My_ nakama and _my_ lover.

He said he didn't hate _him_.

Thank god.

_I_ smiled and punched him playfully.

_I love you._

…

_I _had a dream.

_I _was old and frail and so was _he_.

_We_ held hands, while watching _our_ great, great grandchildren run around.

_He_ looked at _me_ and smiled.

A genuine smile.

_I_ smiled back.

_I love you._

…

_I _woke up peacefully.

Not really wanting to leave the dream.

Who knew if_ we_ would get old?

As old as our head captain.

_I_ wouldn't mind.

If _I_ was with _him_, _I_ wouldn't mind.

_I love you._

…

_I_ was nervous.

It was tomorrow.

The day _I _would lose a name and gain another.

_I _will be strong.

_I _will do this.

For the one _I_ love.

For _myself_.

_I_ want to be happy.

_I_ want to…

_I love you._

…

_I_ walked down the aisle.

_I_ could hear people sobbing.

The kindest girl.

_I_ could see people smiling.

The smartest guy.

_I_ could sense people nodding.

The strong man.

_I_ could feel…

_My_ nakama.

_My_ brother placed _my _hand in _his_.

_I_ brushed away all thoughts of _my_ nakama.

_I_ pressed my lips against _my_ husband's soft ones.

_Our_ kiss was passionate and short.

And the crowd cheered.

_I love you._

…

_I_ watched, amused.

_My_ nakama hadn't seen his family in a year.

His sisters hugged him while his father kicked him.

Typical.

_I_ watched fondly.

And he fell.

Into the buffet table.

He could've easily blocked it.

_I _don't love you.

_I _care for you.

_He_ watched, irritated.

There was watermelon on the buffet table.

_I love you._

…

_I _called him.

_My_ nakama.

_I_ told him how _we_ were moving into the living world.

And how_ I_ would be able to see him more.

_I_ was avoiding something.

He noticed.

He told me to spit it out.

_I'm _pregnant.

With _his_ baby.

_I love you._

…

It's been years.

_My_ children have grown up.

And they've become so beautiful.

_I _walked with _my_ husband.

Even if the road _we_ were on had bumps.

And the road wounded around obstacles.

_We _will walk down that road.

_Together_.

_I_ grew to love _his_ company.

_I_ grew to love _him_.

And after all these years, _our_ love hasn't faltered.

_I love you._

_More than anything else._

_Stay with me forever._

_I love you._

_Even though I've repeated these three words many times in my head._

_They have never lost meaning._

_I love you._

…


End file.
